When I was teaching at preschool recently, we decided to bring out the bikes. Always such a highlight for our tamariki! Before we knew it, the outside space was alive with happy children zooming around the track. However, soon I spotted that one of our bike enthusiasts, Jude (3), had had a little crash.
From a distance, I saw him standing frozen, his little bike toppled on the ground beside him, tears running down his face.
I walked over and gently asked, “Did you crash with your bike?”
Jude nodded, too upset to speak.
“Is your body hurting?”
Another nod.
“Would you like to take a break or try again?”
Without hesitation, Jude replied, “Try again!” He wiped his cheeks and climbed back onto the bike. Off he went! In just moments, he was smiling, then laughing, as he rode around the track like nothing had happened.
Now, it might seem like all I did was ask a few simple questions, but there was a lot of intentionality behind those moments:
1. Acknowledging the Incident
The first step was to recognise what had happened and let Jude know I was there for him. I didn’t rush in with “You’re okay!” or “It was just a little fall” – because to Jude, it was something. I met him where he was, showing empathy and understanding.
2. Checking for Physical Safety
Before anything else, I needed to ensure he wasn’t hurt. From a distance, and then up close, I checked his body for any obvious bruises or cuts. Asking him if his body was okay gave Jude a chance to process his feelings and assess whether he was truly injured for himself.
3. Offering a Choice
Rather than directing him to “get back on the bike” or “take a break,” I gave Jude control. Offering a choice empowered him to decide how he wanted to respond, building his confidence and resilience.
What I love most about this moment is that Jude didn’t just strengthen his ability to ride his bike that day – he also learned to navigate setbacks, trust his skills, and try again, even when things got hard.
For tamariki, these micro-moments are where resilience is born. It’s not about guarding them from every bump in the road (literally or figuratively) but about walking beside them as they learn to pick themselves back up.
So next time you see your little explorer stumble – on a bike, during an art project, or on the playground – take a breath before rushing in. Meet them where they are, let them feel their feelings, and then gently guide them toward the next step.
Have you seen your child turn a tough moment into a win? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments!
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