Spoiler Alert: Calm Isn’t My Default Setting
Over the past year or so, I’ve been receiving several comments by colleagues and parents on how calm I am with the tamariki, all of the time.
Well, let me tell you something…
That’s not always been the case, and it sure is not a personality trait of mine (side note: comments us teachers receive often are “Oh, you’re born to do this” or “You’ve just got the perfect personality for this job”).
Surprise fact: remaining calm and emotionally regulated is a skill I have learned (and still am daily) through many years of working with under 5-year-olds.
But it’s not just the experience alone…
I remember at uni, in my first semester of pedagogy, I was SO bored (which soon transformed into annoyance) – because all we did was reflect. On our childhood. On our past teachers, the memorable ones, in both the good ways and the bad. On the environment we grew up in, our environment now, our relationship to our parents, friends, people in general. You name it, we reflected on it. 🙄
We got to learn different models and structures of reflective processes. And we got to try them all out. Again. and. again. Fun – not.
I remember thinking: What’s up with all the reflecting? Come on, just give me some hands-on tools and strategies for working with kids. How about some resources, games, stories, crafts, songs? That’s what we really need, right?
Well, fast forward to now, and reflecting has become second nature. So much so that, instead of reflecting on what has happened looking back, my brain runs speed-reflections (is that a word? 😅) as the moment is unfolding: What is happening? How am I, how are they, who needs what, what else is going on?
Asking these questions while I take a deep breath (also a habit that took some practice to develop), helps me respond instead of react, especially in more challenging situations. It helps me stay calm and be a better teacher (and human).
I have learned this through:
- making plenty of mistakes (so many, I kid you not 😬)
- continuous study & research
- some amazing mentors I’ve been lucky enough to work alongside (and some bad ones too… let’s be honest: there’s learning everywhere)
And hey, guess what?
Staying calm still feels challenging at times. Even if it may look easy from the outside, chances are, inside me, there’s a storm brewing that I’m trying to breathe through. Because I am human, and things affect me. Like a hectic week or a stressful day, several children needing one-on-one time and connection at once and not enough teachers to attend to them, my brain reminding me of aaaaaall the things I have yet to do and how little time there’s left to do them… Breathe, Franzi, breathe.
Anyway, long story short: calm isn’t something I was born with, it’s a habit I practice, mess up, learn from, and practice again.
Parenting is hard. You’ll have days when patience runs thin and the “perfect calm parent” feels mythical. That is SO okay! Notice what you’re feeling, take a breath, and choose a response over a reaction. It’s less about perfection and more about practice (familiar words from me, hey?).
And remember, teachers are trained professionals. We study child development, reflective practice, and emotional regulation so we can support your tamariki (and you!). Lean on us when you need ideas or a listening ear. You’re not alone in this.
Give yourself grace, celebrate small wins, and remember: every pause, every breath, and every effort matters. You’ve got this. ❤️
If today’s article sparked anything in you, I’d love to hear it! Feel free to comment with any thoughts, questions, or reflections of your own.
Franzi 🌞
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