“You’re so joyful all the time”, someone said to me just the other day. Followed by “I wish I could be more like that.”
First of all, I’m human, and I can guarantee you that I am, in actual fact, not joyful all of the time. But I guess I do access a state of joyfulness quite frequently. I’ve always viewed this as part of who I am and never given it much thought.
Since this conversation, I’ve been reflecting on why it is that I am experiencing so much joy. And how I’ve come to be like that.
Here’s what I think…
1) Over the past 20+ years, I’ve been spending a large majority of my time with children under the age of 12.
There’s a popular belief (often attributed to Jim Rohn) that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. It isn’t a hard scientific law, but plenty of psychology and social-science research (think observational learning and social contagion) shows that our moods, habits and mindsets are strongly shaped by the people around us. No wonder then that spending my days with young children (in kindergartens, primary schools, museums and community programmes across Germany, the USA and New Zealand) has taught me to notice, and celebrate, the simple things in life.
Kids don’t just notice, they treasure the smallest things: a snail on the path, a weird shadow, a cloud that looks like a dragon… they respond with full attention and delight. Being around that kind of attention has shown me that small, everyday moments are worth appreciating.
Also, over the years, sooo many children have invited me into a kind of free, fun silliness that’s hard not to find joy in. And it all rubs off… 🙃
2) When I was a child, I played a lot.
We lived opposite a forest on the outskirts of a small town in Germany. My two sisters and I spent our days building huts, roaming amongst the trees, and building grass nests for our dinosaurs. We made up games using rocks, chalk, paper, sticks… whatever we could get our hands on, really.
We also went through different craft phases mum introduced us to (anyone else remember window cling art? Or the decoupage/napkin technique?). Board and card games were (and still are) a big thing in our family (although dad often needs a bit of extra encouragement 🙃).
Long story short, that childhood play taught me to improvise, to use simple materials, and to know that I don’t need much to find the fun. Playing with my sisters and family has also given me (and I like to think them too 😁) the joy of shared rituals.
3) I still make time to play and create.
From collecting rocks (umm, how pretty are those marbled ones??!) to sketching without a plan to playing with other adults when improvising… Play is something I’ve come to prioritise as an adult. When I get to enter the state of play, I feel more calm, present and connected, and – yes! – joyful.
When life gets busy and I drop these moments of play, to make time for all those “important” things, I can feel it. My stress levels increase and I’m way less connected and present with the people around me – you can imagine how many pockets of joy my days have then…
Looking at these, I’m realising that, without knowing it, I’ve developed habits & attitudes over the past years that really did increase the level of joy I’m experiencing.
So, in the spirit of spreading more joy, here are some ideas you can start playing with (pun intended 🙃) today. Pick one that best suits your routines and/or personality:
1) Give objects a voice. Toothbrushes, spoons, socks… put on a funny voice and make an observation these objects would make from their perspective. Kids love this, no surprise here hehe, but boy is this fun from one adult to another. 😁
2) Scribble and/or make a mess. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and give yourself permission to make something with no expectation: a doodle, a collage from scraps, a pattern in your notebook. Don’t edit, fix, or photograph it. The point is being allowed to be imperfect which invites play back into everyday life.
3) Wonder more. To do this, you could finish the sentence “Today I wondered how/what/why…” at the end of each day. Put it on your phone, on a sticky note, or in your journal. An alternative: make it a dinner ritual and get the whole family involved! This not only increases your own sense of wonder and curiosity but inviting conversation around this also builds connection.
And hey, you know what’s so great when thinking of our tamariki and their levels of experiencing joy? While we have to put some extra effort into learning and unlearning habits around play, they are already excellent at it. All we need to do is keep nurturing their wonder, curiosity, and creativity. 😊
And with that, happy playing & creating,
Franzi
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I’m Franzi, a teacher, creative, and a child-at-heart. I’m on a mission to keep children’s (and your) creativity & joy alive. If you enjoyed this post and want to support what I do, pick one of these right now:
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